Migraine is still here, day…three I think? Four? It’s starting to all blur together at this point, and I’m having more bad days than good. I was able to work through it and got 2 hours worth of booth time done and got a comic transcribed into a script for one of my clients – I have one more of his to write out, and then record sometime next week. Working tomorrow too as bf has two scripts he needs to read for, and I have three. Though, I may just push those to Monday. Gah.
I’ve also noticed I lose followers when I talk about my medical stuff but look – I don’t do it for pity. I use Twitter as a way for my commissioners to stay up-to-date on my medical stuff/commission progress if they don’t use Discord, and as a peek into a window of what it’s like to be chronically ill. I have cerebral palsy. I have migraines. But I always get my work done. I always push on. And I give life a big middle finger and say
“Not today, bitch!”
Because…what’s the use in wallowing in my own pity? What’s the use of saying “Gee my life SUX AND I WISH I WAS DEAD?” I have those thoughts sometimes, when the pain is so severe I can’t open my eyes, when the air on my face digs into my skin & permeates past my nerves and into my already throbbing head. When every smell in the house – normal house smells – make me want to empty my stomach, and nothing sounds appealing to keep down, when I have to keep my eyes closed to go to the bathroom because the pain is so severe that I get knocked for a loop.
But then. Some days? When the pain isn’t so bad, or doesn’t rear it’s ugly head? When I’m clear minded enough to be able to walk around outside with my dog, enjoy the breeze on my skin from our overhead fan, rock out to my favorite music, or concentrate on a commission and give it my absolute best performance?
Those are the days I live for.